The power of the word but
Are you aware of your but? not your behind or your posterior. I am talking about the word but. It pops up in many a conversation and brings about sudden death for whatever you were talking about immediately before the but leapt into action! This is why I love Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Read on…
Those of you who follow my blogs and videos will know that I love language. I love how powerful it is and the emotions we generate in response to it. This applies to both what we say to ourselves and what we say so others. It is why the middle letter of NLP stands for Linguistics, no coincidence!
A little story
So back to your but 🙂 Let me tell you a story. My friend was telling me only yesterday that she was having a discussion on a date and about the world of self development and how to be generally awesome. Whilst having this conversation they appeared on the surface to be discussing topics in a normal way. However my friend started to feel uncomfortable and dismissed in what she was saying.
After every point she made the guy said, ‘yes BUT …….’ or ‘I hear what you are saying BUT……’
I came across a massive ‘but’ this last week whilst coaching someone. Whilst reframing the problem she was facing, every positive that was presented and and every option of moving forward that was discussed was followed with a ‘yes BUT…….’ Do you know anyone who shows their but off in public all of the time?
Why is it so powerful and frustrating?
There is a reason why this is so frustrating and why it is important to look out for your but and other’s but’s. It holds you and others back! The word but has magic powers because it discredits everything that is said directly before it. For example, someone says: ‘I am a good person BUT I don’t work hard enough on my business.’ It may be true that they can work harder on their business, however it is not linked to being a good person. By placing the but there, it discredits being a good person. Another example would be ‘It’s a great idea for me to take more leisure time BUT whats the point. BUTS EVERYWHERE!
One way around this is to firstly notice when you are about to use your BUT. Then you want to swap it for something else such as ‘I am a good person and to get more balance I will start to put more work into my business’ or ‘I have some ideas about how to take action in my leisure time and although I have some doubts I will do it anyway. Start noticing your buts and swapping them out for something else. This will give you more mental flexibility and ability to really consider your options.
Free NLP Top Skills Guide
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is about language and how identify other’s inner worlds through the language they use and your ability to use your language to help shift others and impact on them in a positive way. When you learn about how you communicate with yourself and others, you have more control, emotional resilience and success. If you want to learn more about NLP download your free guide to top skills of NLP Practitioners below.
Wishing you a simply clear mind and life from Simply Clear Coaching.
Your NLP Trainer and Change Agent