The NLP meta model is the opposite of the Milton hypnotic language Model (read more here). The NLP meta model is all about the details. It is used to discover what people have deleted, distorted and generalised to get themselves into a problem state. Problem states including anxiety, fear, confusion, depression, they are all trance state in themselves. In the NLP practitioner course you learn the NLP meta model questions to ask to bust problematic states and break you and others out of unhelpful states.
What are deletions, distortions and generalisations?
We filter the world to fit our current views about ourselves, the world and the beliefs we hold. We are bombarded by 4 million bits of sensory information and experiences at any give time and we can only consciously process 134 bits per second!! A tiny edited portion of reality, this edited reality then informs our views and beliefs further and concretes them. The way we filter information is through deleting, distorting and generalising information.
The NLP meta model helps us to challenge these distorted perspectives and enrich someones view or map of the world.
Deletions – NLP Meta model
If we think lowly of ourselves then we are likely to delete any compliments we may receive from others and remember every criticism, if we believe the world is an unfriendly place we will delete every time someone smiles at us or opens the door for us and be aware all the times people are rude. If we believe we are not good enough we will delete all of our successes and only notice our failings. We cannot possible process every experience and so we take note of what fits at the time.
Other examples of deletions would be
‘I am not good enough’
‘It’s rude to express my feelings’
The person making the judgements is missing, this would be challenged by asking according to who? or how do you know that to be true? Maybe one person said this once, maybe a teacher, a parent, a sibling or boss. Maybe they do not realise it is only them that holds this view. This is your job as an NLP Practitioner to uncover and challenge the rules people have that are the bases for their views that impoverish their world and life.
Distortions – NLP Meta model
‘He does not love me because he does not but me flowers’ – X=Y
‘He makes me angry’ – X causes Y
‘My colleagues think I am an idiot’ – Mind reading
How to challenge these distortions:
X=Y can be challenged by asking does anyone love you who does not buy you flowers? Finding counter examples
X causes Y can be challenged by highlighting that people cause their own reactions to events not the event causing the reaction – How do you make yourself angry in reaction to him?
Mind reading can be challenged by asking how can you know this to be true?
Generalisations – NLP Meta model
All young people are bad
I always do things wrong
I will never accomplish that
Every man is a cheater
All politicians are corrupt
Everyone wearing a hoodie is going to mug me
The words all, every, never, always or everyone, should set the NLP Practitioner’s radar beeping, as this indicates there is a generalisation being made.
Can you see how these generalisations lock people into a limited worldview. Some young people are bad, you may sometimes do things wrong, you may not have accomplished that up until now, some men are cheaters, some politicians are corrupt and someone wearing a hoodie may mug you, but not all of them!
You can challenge these generalisations by asking the questions: All young people? You have met them all? Are there times when you have done things right? Just because you have not achieved it yet how do you know you never will? Do you know any men who have not cheated? Have you ever seen someone in a hoodie who has not mugged you? Challenge people with a sense of humour!
Don’t be a meta monster!
This is just the tip of the ice burg and there are so many other linguist patterns people use that lock them into unhelpful realities to learn on the NLP Practitioner. It is easy enough to drive people to distraction using the meta model questions and we need to delete things and generalise in day to day conversation, so pick your moments. If it isn’t a problem the there is no need to challenge it. Use them sparingly, with rapport, humour and kindness otherwise its very easy to lose friends!
If you want to know more about NLP you can check out the NLP Training here.
Looking forward to your continued learning.
Wising you a simply clear mind and life.
Your NLP Trainer and Coach