Build rapport with NLP to get better results
Why is this important to build rapport with NLP? Rapport is that familiar comfortable feeling that you have with old friends. That feeling of sameness, trust and connection. Vital if you are to lead someone into a better head space and state. If you are interested in NLP then you are interested in having more of an impact on people for good right?!
Trying to lead someone into a different head space without first gaining rapport is like trying to drag an elephant up a sand dune with one arm tied behind your back, impossible! We have all had people try to lead us into a different head space
without first feeling some sort of connection and believe me its a very uncomfortable position. Don't be that person!
So what exactly is Rapport?
Rapport is naturally gained with some people and we have all been in that position, where we have an instant connection and liking to someone. We often have this naturally with partners, good friends and people we like. In fact it is rapport that's the gateway to strong relationships. However, some people this does not come so naturally with.
How to spot rapport
If you look around a restaurant, you can see who is in rapport and indeed who is not. That couple who are leaning in at the same time, drinking from their glass at the same time, smiling at the same time, matching each others voice volume, speed and tone.
On the flip side you can also see when people are not in rapport. Their body language is all mismatched, one might be leaning in whilst the other leans out, they may not be communicating well, it appears that they are not hearing what the other is saying and it seems 'sticky.'
Why might you need to build rapport intentionally?
We sometimes have to work with or be around people where rapport does not come easily. This could be a client, a
boss, a colleague, a family member or a business associate.
It can be important to gain rapport with these people if you want to influence them. Rapport is different from liking someone, it is simply about creating that familiar feeling so that you feel on some level connected.
So how does NLP help you to gain rapport?
NLP teaches you to use your senses to get an over view of the other person in front of you, it teaches you to observe their language patterns (the way they speak and the kinds of words which they use), observe their body language, their breathing patterns (such as speed and depth). All of these things when matched, send messages to the other persons unconscious that you are the same and we all like people who are like us!
How to start
As you fine tune your sensory skills you can start to match those aspects of the other person. Gesturing in the same way, breathing at the same speed, matching your language to theirs, the speed in which they speak and also the pitch tone and volume. This is all part of how to build rapport with NLP.
When it comes to body language you do not want to directly mimic every movement they make, as this can in fact break rapport and will feel like you are taking the p*ss! If they move their feet then you can move your leg, if they scratch their head then maybe you can scratch your chest and so on, similar enough to connect unconsciously but not obvious enough to be consciously aware is the key. When you do start to build rapport with NLP, life starts to feel easier.
My advice would be to pick one of these elements and start to match people in it for a week so that these skills start to become engrained and you will find yourself building rapport with NLP naturally.
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